meatbicyclevevo:

thetowndrugdealer:

precumming:

I JUST PUT MY SHIRT ON AND THERE WAS A SPIDER IN IT!!!!!!!!

or did you just put a shirt on that a spider was already wearing?

thats so rude

inuyasharusher

(via s4ndc4t)

drenchedinlove:

Haha. I’m unhappy with the way I look.

plantdust:

i need clear skin by yesterday

(via drenchedinlove)

plantdust:

i need clear skin by yesterday

(via drenchedinlove)

My visit to get screened for cancer:

  • Nurse: "Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable."
  • Me: "He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he."
  • Nurse: "So he's your...."
  • Me: "Friend."
  • Nurse: (During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?"
  • Me: "11."
  • Nurse: "How old were you when you first became sexually active?"
  • Me: "....Loaded question but....14, I guess."
  • Nurse: "You're sexually active, then."
  • Me: "Well....I guess...but..."
  • Nurse: "How many times have you been pregnant?"
  • Me: "Uh. 0."
  • Nurse: "O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-"
  • Me: "I don't use condoms. Or take birth control."
  • Nurse: "Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?"
  • Me: "With homosexuality."
  • Nurse:
  • Me:
  • Nurse:
  • Me: "I fuck girls."

ana-sthetic:

"Dont say you hate your fam-" No.

"Omg you should love your fami-" No.

"Be grateful they’re your famil-" No.

If you have been bullied, hit, teased, put down, hurt, lied to, or hated by your own family; you don’t need to justify how you feel. You dont need to explain yourself. You are allowed to hate a family member or dislike a family member if they’ve given you a reason to. You dont owe anyone anything.

(via quincomesoon)

Educating a Friend

  • Me: So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.
  • Guy Friend: What's his name?
  • Me: I don't know. Frank?
  • Guy Friend: No.
  • Me: Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?
  • Guy Friend: I don't think it really suits him, but okay.
  • Me: ...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?
  • Guy Friend: Do I have any money?
  • Me: Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.
  • Guy Friend: Duh, I buy him lunch.
  • Me: Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--
  • Guy Friend: Nah, it's cool.
  • Me: Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."
  • Guy Friend: What five bucks?
  • Me: Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."
  • Guy Friend: What? Why would I--
  • Me: I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."
  • Guy Friend: Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.
  • Me: I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"
  • Guy Friend: Well, yeah, but...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: oh

why do raisins get so much hate? is it just a tumblr thing or do people really hate raisins that much?

raisins are really sweet and are great in cereal. i don’t see how anyone can hate on them. 

cranberries, on the other hand, fuck those. sweetened or unsweetened. cranberries are little fuckers. tart and bitter little fuckers. 

  • me: what's your opinion on tampons
  • little brother: they're little fuzzy sticks on strings
  • me: then you are ultimately more mature than most boys
  • little brother: why
  • me: for some reason tampons are gross and taboo just cuz they go in a vagina
  • little brother: well so does a penis and boys never stop talking about those
  • me:
  • little brother:
  • me: that is a fantastic point

it scares me that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you and everything that they say could be one massive lie

i worry about this constantly

(Source: wh1rring, via drenchedinlove)

i-want-some-tea:

danytargaryenz:

how did emma watson manage to graduate from one of the most prestigious universities while filming and doing press for at least like one movie every year she was there i can barely manage attending university and washing my hair maybe twice a week

With a time-turner, duh

(via fluffypartofmybrain)

isxbelle:

Before u make fun of someone’s foreign accent, take some time to think about how they speak more languages than u and how u are a failure

(via freakishlyawkward)

o-f-c:

I can’t wait for the next time I get to dress for cold weather

(via seemssosillytomenow)

bringinglexiback:

the worst thing about online friendships is no hugs

man i wanna hug the frick outta some of you

(Source: based2pac, via seemssosillytomenow)